What is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone—including lawyers and judges themselves—has had a hearty chuckle over attorney-aimed humor. Hilarious Lawyer Jokes pokes the most fun (and malice) at a profession that has been targeted with humorous jabs for centuries.

From this single hilarious source, with full-color illustrations, get your one-liners (Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true stories.), your historical and literary quotations (Litigation: A machine that you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage—Ambrose Bierce: The Devil’s Dictionary), and all the lengthier, fun-to-share forensic funnies you can handle, such as:

A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, “I love my BMW, I love my BMW.” Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. “My BMW! My BMW!” he sobbed.

A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, “Sir, sir, you’re bleeding. And, my god, your left arm is gone!”

The lawyer looked down and screamed, “My Rolex! My Rolex!”

In summation, you must find Hilarious Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.

Illustrated by: Marty Bucella