"Just a moment ago I was sitting at in London, Heathrow airport waiting for Finnair's scheduled daily flight back to Helsinki, and from there a continuation flight to Kittilä where I lived, and wondered how the clouds were yet again so ominous and scary, just like a month ago when I was fleeing from Finland to London, to safety just in case, and I was reading a book published by Inner Arctic Circle publishing, a publishing house from Kittilä I didn't know existed. The book itself was about a series of gay murders and suicides in Finland. Now suicides in Kittilä are nothing out of the ordinary, but then again, gays in Lapland are too rare to even form a minority. Now Kittilä is a province in northern Finland about the size of Denmark, but has a population of approximately 6000 people. How is it possible that there's a publishing house there, in the middle of nowhere?" Harald and Jukka are like Diogenes who strove toward a virtuous life without earthly possessions. He believed that the teachings of great philosophers weren't necessary to people but insisted that they were the fountain of all suffering, because this way the people pursued something impossible or useless most of their life's. Less and less interested, though still curious enough to take on his invitation, I was walking towards the place where our meeting was to occur this time. My frustration had gone beyond what I could bear, but then again, to my experience there was two kinds of frustration: the kind when I thought there was nothing to do, that nothing worth while could be done and then the other kind inside the organisation, in action but obscured of any purpose what so ever. While let in to mere fractions of the master plan - if there was any - the frustration was of being kept in the dark, but all the more hungry for action, always, I was born that way, I guess. Integrated into working machinery, my taste for action and persistence in getting things done had helped me further within the organisation relatively fast, but still, I was unable to grasp the big picture. I had gotten so fed up with all these shady operations carried out with, vague information, at best, as if there was no plan at all and the point was to keep us busy.