Working as a teacher, and then a headteacher, you’re never sure of what each day is going to bring. When the day gives you lines like ‘There’s a wasp in my trousers’ or ‘I wish I was a bird, so I could poo on people’, the poet inside grabs them and won’t let go until a poem has been written.


And when you’ve spent the afternoon balanced up a ladder, waving a meter stick in a tree to try and rescue the school drone, or had the pleasure of removing a dead pigeon from the playground whilst fascinated children try to get a closer look, writing it down has seemed almost therapy!


I’ve loved sharing these poems the next day with the children who inspired them, and enough people have suggested I put them into a book to decide that maybe other children in other schools might enjoy them as well.


So if you’re in the market for poems about drones stuck in trees, babies in lifts and the dangers of counting how many teeth a crocodile has, there’s something in here for you! If you want to be scared by the thought of the Manhole Bandit stealing your doughnuts or becoming a Lion’s lunch, read on. And if you’ve ever wondered if the Queen eats hotdogs … the answer lies inside!