Here is the reality: Bush won; Kerry lost.

Here is your reaction: AA#RGH*HG@GHW&WGRWW!!?!

Here is your salvation: The Bush Survival Bible

Although many of you may try, you can't really do anything about the election results. But you can do something about your postelection stress disorder. Here are 250 ways to help you get through the next four years. For instance:

- Are you suicidal? Here are 5 antidepressants to consider.

- Are you cold? Here are 6 reasons to love global warming.

- Are you ready to leave the country? Here are 7 countries to move to.

- Are you political? Here are 6 ways to get involved in local politics.

- Are you spiritual? Here are 9 prayers to get you through the night.

No matter who you are, no matter what you feel, there's a solution for you. Yes, Bush won. But that doesn't mean you have to lose. And remember, he can't run for a third term. Just 1,461 days to go! Light a candle, don't sweat the Bush stuff, and pray.